montanasouthernbelle

country girl meets city boy

Midwife 32 week update

I went to the midwife yesterday and everything went wonderful. I’m just now 32weeks. On April 26th. I turn a different week each Thursday. My birthing kit that we ordered had everything that was need in it. =-) This is going to be a quick update. James and I are excited that everything is going wonderfully.

My weight was 245

My fundal height was 33cm <<< so i’m measuring a week ahead.

Junior’s heart rate was 145

My blood pressure was 112/68

And for those of you who want to call me fat then go ahead. I was 276 when I first got pregnant and then dropped down to 238 so whose fat?

He is head down and has his little feet into my lungs like always, bless him. He’s perfect no matter what. He is a miracle from God. I will explain in a later post into detail. Thanks for taking the time to read this!!

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I’ve been really busy

I want to apologize for not getting around to writing anymore blogs but I’m a busy wife. I have been really busy trying to clean up a house that seems to keeps getting messed up more by the minute. I’m trying to prepare for a new baby that is going be coming anytime after May 24th. We had to get our garden ready and our yard for summer. We finally got our tomatoes and strawberry turbys up. I have a midwife appointment today to see how the baby and I both are doing during this pregnancy. I am going to a business meeting with my husband and mother in law tomorrow night. I am really busy trying to cook and keep a house together. My mother in law works and so does my husband so it’s up to me. Which I am not complaining about because I don’t mind. I’m a stay at home wife and soon to be mother so it’s the least I can do. I finally registered at target and walmart. I actually like target better for baby clothes but not for grownup clothes. I went to look for something to wear to my husbands business meeting that was for pregnant women. Everything to me looked like it was made for a slut. Excuse my choice of words but it did. I’m not as modest as my mother in law is but I don’t dress like I’m a street walker. I am 31 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I want to look like a mother not a hooker. That is enough of that. I have to go eat lunch at the organic deli which I love. The turkey sandwich on wheat is calling my name. I will post an update about my midwife appointment when we get back. It’s 10:56am now and it’s at 1:00pm. Thanks for taking the time to read this!!! =-)

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Gone but not forgotten

This morning my husband and I got some horrible news about a business associate. Their 7month old baby has passed away from an unknown illness that happened the 14th of April. I personally have never meet the people before but they are business aquatientces of my husbands. I feel so sorry for them because I can’t imagine the hurt they must be going through. The baby boy left behind two loving parents and 8 sibilings. I can’t even begin to think what these people must be going through but they do need prayers. The mother’s name is Sarah. So if you could please pray for Sarah and her family while they are trying to deal with the lose of their baby boy I would be so grateful. This also made me start watching videos of 31 weeks old babys who survive outside the womb. I am currently pregnant and that’s is another reason it hit me so hard. I keep thinking I could be going through what they are right now. Nobody is to young to go home to the Lord. You go when he calls you home. I know in my heart that he is in heaven with all the angels learning about Jesus. One day he will worship Jesus and God to his hearts content. He will be waiting for his family to come join in the most wonderful place you could ever hope to remain for enterity. Also while I was watching videos abortion videos started poping up in youtube. I decided to watch two videos and they both touched my heart and I hope they touch yours also.
Doctors tell you that when you abort a baby they don’t feel anything. They are numbed and they really are nothing but a bundle of tissue. This guy actually shows what a fetus sees while they are being aborted. They did a live ultrasound during an abortion and the doctor who performed it had to step out before he could finish. He went on to never do another one. The nurse went on to never help in another one because this was not something they teach in school.

This other video is a woman discussing her 3 abortions she did when she was younger. She always describes that having those abortions she was told they were nothing but bundles of tissue. She goes on to state that she never really felt a mother-child bond with her children due to her having abortions. She felt something was missing and that she was a bad mother. She also goes on to tell how the Lord changed her life and how she’s changing others. Please take the time to watch both videos.

* This might not make any sense why I would put this all together but it does to me. This baby boys parents decided to have him and love him. Things went down hill on April 14th and they lost him. All I know is he had a bad coughing spell and tore something in his stomach that claimed his life. Atleast this little one got the chance to live even for a little while. He will never question why his mommie and daddy didn’t want him. Why they didn’t love him because he knows they loved him very much. There was never a void he had to feel. Those little babies that get aborted do know what is going on. Never let a doctor tell you they don’t. Please stand up for those who don’t have a big enough voice to do it for theirselves.

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Everyone should visit Montana before they die

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Who wouldn’t want to see those every day?

 

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A new life

When we moved to Montana it was because we wanted to start a new life far away from everything that we have ever known. I didn’t like it at first because we had to live in a city. That’s when my husband took me out to show me around some nice out door spots. I fell in love with Montana and what it had to offer. We found a doctor up here to help with me issue of not being able to carry a baby full term. We went to my doctor and she checked my thyroid levels. She put me on a low dose and within a month we were expecting.

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It was the scariest moment. All I could think was am I going to miscarry again? We got a midwife because I chose doing a home birth against a hospital birth. She schedule an ultrasound to see how far I was and we found out I was only 7weeks and 4 days. That was a bummer. But at 12 weeks we heard the baby’s heart beat for the first time. It was full of joy that day and I fell in love with having the baby. Then we went to find out what we were having and it was a BOY! =-)

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His name is James Robert Jr Peninger. But he will go by Junior! =-) It’s amazing what two people who fell in love can create. God blessed me with James and then blessed us with a healthy baby! He is good! He is due June 21st 2012 and our anniversary is June 26th. =-) We are hoping he comes before our anniversary. I will keep you update on any news about Junior. I am now two days away from 31 weeks. He is moving all the time with a lot of hiccups. =-) But it’s all worth it.

*my next blog will just be pictures of the places we visited.

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This is always something funny.

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I just thought everyone might need a laugh this afternoon.

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My knight and shining armor

The day that James walked into my life was when my life took a turn for the better.  I could have never gathered how much he would change my life and how much I would fight against him so he couldn’t.  I meet him on Feb 14th 2010 and I married him on June 26th 2010.  One day while I was staying at his house he had a date planned out and I was excited. He asked me to go back into the house to get the camera. His mother was waiting for me and she told me to step outside. The sun was setting when he said “what if the box wasn’t empty” and he was on his knee. I couldn’t do anything but stand there and smile. He said “will you marry me?” I said yes of course!!! So his mother took pictures and we went off to Cedar Landing for our date. It was the most exciting nights of my life. I went home and told my parents that I was moving in with him to get married. They were like what ever you want. I moved in and we got married on June 26th 2010. I loved the wedding and I loved being Mrs. James Peninger! Things got rocky because we found out we were pregnant about 2 months after we got married then 3 weeks after that we miscarriaged our baby. God was with me that night and I had a choice to make. I could go to heaven with our baby we named Richard or I could stay with James. I was watching Richard play and he told me it wasn’t my time, that I had to stay with daddy. I remember hearing James full of tears begging me not to leave him. To please stay with him and I woke up. I turned over and I called out his name. He was there for me when he could have left me but he didn’t. I choose to stay on this earth. I thought things would get better but they wouldn’t for a time to come.  I started texting someone and having an emotional affair. James took it as long as he could. He finally stood up to me and it stopped. I never met up with the guy or did anything with him. But I chose James over him because I knew James was going to stay with me no matter what. I don’t think I would’ve had the same faith that it would work out as he did but I was willing to hang on to see where this would go. I was a brat when we got together. I wanted everything my way and it didn’t matter about his feelings. He wasn’t anything that really mattered. It all changed when he stood up to me. Nobody ever did that before. He was different and it really showed. He was a strong believer in God and was against divorce. He talked to me about God and I wanted to be baptized. He is a preacher so we went to a church and he baptized me. It brought us closer together. I gave my life to God and in return I saw things in a different light. I saw the guy that I had mistreated, the one who stood by me through the tough times, and I saw the love in his eyes when I came up out of the water. I saw how much love he had for me and my heart swelled with love for him. He doesn’t realize how much he saved me and how much he means to me. I am truly blessed that we found each other. We were living in Alabama at the time but we decided to get far away so we moved to mountain country. You guessed it we moved to Montana! James, his mother and I all packed up and moved. His mother became my mother. I never really had a mother growing up so she got to fill the space for me. The one thing that I don’t know if she knows but she changed my life the day she said ” I love you like a daughter Stephanie.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I had two people who loved me with everything in them. Things just keep getting better as long as I trust in the lord and love him. If it wasn’t for him I don’t know where I’d be. The Lord used James to save me and in return I got to keep James.
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It gets worse but the sun always shines

I moved out of my dad’s house and into my birth mothers house. She let me quit school and just sit at home to do nothing. She kept leaving me to go hang out with guys. My brother and I never had any food. We only ate maybe 2 days out of the week. Then I moved out of her home and then came back to live with her. Life went down hill from there. I hated it there so I moved back in with my daddy. Things got a lot better. I started GED classes and he started teaching me to drive his van. I was almost 19. I got back on the birth control but this time I actually got the pills. Thank goodness. I didn’t gain a ton of weight. I started dating once I moved in. I only dated two guys while I lived back with them. One guy I went to a party with and then woke up the next morning to something awful. I remembered the whole thing. I had been raped. I didn’t know what to do so I went home to tell my parents. We agreed to put it behind us and I got very careful who I trusted. That’s when I meet James. I talked to him online for a while before we meet. Our first day was horrible but I still wanted to see him. We went to taco bell, bowling, and to the animal shelter. He thought he would never see me again but we still kept talking. I asked him out on our second date and I took him to my grandparents house. It was hilarious because he wore a shirt that said “I’m not a doctor but I’ll take a look.” My grandmother loved him and so did my grandfather. I knew he was the one before they never approved. Also my dog hates everyone. She is very scared of people. She walked straight over to him and gave him tons of kisses. I knew he was the one. I kept dating him and then he tried to break it off with me because he didn’t think it was going anywhere. I told him he was not breaking up with me and he knew I was the one. =-) Things kept getting better.

This was one of our first pictures taken together in his house which would soon become mine.

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Can’t you say prefect couple =-)

 

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My jealous dog in the background =-)

 

*Never let bad things that happen to you get you down. You can over come them and they make you stronger. They make you have a stronger layer or skin!! Never let anyone put you down or do anything you don’t want done. Stand up for yourself because if you don’t who will?

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Stepmother number 2 and still is

My dad met Pam when I was in 6th or 7th grade. My dad told me one night that he had a friend over and would be back at the house at 8 to fix me supper. Well he was out at the shop and it was 10 so I decided to go out there and see what was wrong. I walked out there to see a women with my dad! I was furious because how could he not feed me before he met with some whore! Well that “whore” actually turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me and my dad. We butted heads a lot because I made it clear I didn’t like her one bit! After all she took my dad’s attention from me and I didn’t like that. I wanted him all to myself and didn’t want to share. She was a nurse so it was off to the doctor I go. I hated doctors and she made me go also to a dentist also! She wasn’t very fun. She didn’t even let me call her momma. She told me I had a mother and that it wasn’t her. One day she thought she should take me to get on birth control just in case she told my dad. So she took me and to find out I wasn’t a virgin even though I really was. They found scar tissue in there and it looked like trauma. Well come to find out my stepgranddad on my mother’s side had molested me when I was younger than 18months. Could you imagine some sick-o wanting to molest a child! That has actually messed me life up and the view of life. I couldn’t cope with finding out that happened to me. Someone invaded my space and did something awful to me. It has damaged me beyond words. But I’m starting to deal with it. Well anyways things went on from there and I was on birth control. Depo actually and I blew up and got fat!! I weighed 170 when I first got on it and by the end of the  first 3 months  I was over 190. I hated her for making me fat. When I would have friends over she would baby them like she loved them more. But I have to say she saved me. I was really depressed when I was younger and I started cutting. I would cut and I would cut deep. I would cry and listen to music that made me want to cut more. I would hide it under long sleeve shirts and certain tops. One day I got really dizzy so she asked to take my blood pressure so I said sure. I let her see my right arm and she told me “nope it has to be the left.”  Which made me really upset. I wouldn’t let her see it so she held me down and pulled my shirt up. I begged her not to tell my dad and she agreed. She went into my room with me and made me give her all my things I used to cut myself with. She took my door off the hinges and told my dad it was because she just thought it would be better. He didn’t question anything she said. If I looked sad she would come sit with me or take me out for ice cream. We would sit and talk for hours about what was wrong. I even had an eating disorder when I was younger and she helped me through that. I still struggle with it to this day. I can’t stand looking at myself when I see skinny girls all around me. She never understood me and she never really tried to understand me. She really didn’t have the time of day for me. She did try sometimes and I would be a brat to her. But I do have to say she did save me from probably killing myself down the road. She stopped the cutting and for that I’m thankful.

  • I just want to point out that I’m sorry for the crappy blog
  • I want to say that cutting is not the answer to any problem. It doesn’t take the pain away. All it does it scar up the body that God gave you. God gave you one body and one body only. We are to take care of it and not hurt it. Cutting isn’t the answer to anything other than causing yourself more pain and others around you.
  • When you look around at others don’t compare yourself to them. Keep your chin up and remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! No matter how big, small, short, tall, or race. You are BEAUTIFUL!!! You might not be a size 0 and that’s a good thing. Means your probably a lot healthier than most! There was a time when being big was sexy. The media has perverted the views on that. Don’t let them win. Don’t give in and harm yourself just to be what the media defines as beautiful. Be your own person and remember God loves you no matter what size jeans you wear.
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