country girl meets city boy

Warnging probably makes no sense

on July 21, 2012

I’ve started to recover nicely from my blood clots. A lot of interesting things have happened since I was put into the hospital for a while due to blood clots in my leg. The blood clot is in my left leg from my hip to my ankle. It is in the two major veins that run the length of your leg. While I was in the hospital some broke off and hit my left leg so I have three in it. One hit my heart two so I’m not sure if I still have on in my heart or not. My parents came all the way from Mississippi to Montana to visit me in the hosptial. I couldn’t believe my ears when my husband told me they were flying in to be with me. They actually where coming because nobody knew how much longer I had to live. I almost died three whole times in the hospital but didn’t. I hated being in the hospital because I had to be put on blood thinners which means…da da da….needle sticks EVERY SINGLE DAY!! My levels had to be between 2-3 and my level now is 2.4 so I guess it’s working. Anyways my unsisters where suspose to come visit me while I was in the hospital but one of them had a panick attack on the flight before it took off. So she went to get on some medicine to make her feel better for the next time she tried it. They were suspose to visit me yesterday but didn’t. They knew three whole days before letting us know that they couldn’t make it. We hired a house cleaner, food, new bed covers along with some other things. I warned them that if they let me down one more time they were out of my life for good and I meant it. I can’t stand people who say one thing but do another. My real mother was like that and I cut her lose also. I don’t know where I’m going with this blog. But I want to talk about things I feel for right now. I am sick with some throat virus right now. My throat hurts like a cheese grater was taken to it. I’ve been trying to breast feed Junior as much as possible so he can get the antibodies but I don’t have that much milk due to all the medicines from teh hospital stay. I don’t feel like that great of a mother because of that either. My whole hospital stay I had to sleep apart from Junior and it killed me. I couldn’t bare it and I hated it. Everyone told me to just relax and enjoy being able to get sleep. I didn’t want sleep because I just wanted my baby boy back in my arms again for the night. I am a proud co-sleeping momma ofย  a handsome little boy who is 5weeks and 3 days old. I feel like a burden to my family because of all that I’ve put them through. They are under a ton of stress. My husband is under a lot of stress and sometimes I wonder if he does blame me for some of it. I don’t treat him as well as I should I reckon. Maybe I need to be a lot nicer sometimes but I do love him. I don’t try to make him mad or anyone for that matter but things just keep happening. He’s in our bedroom right now taking a nap and all I can think is I wish he was in here with me so I would have someone to talk to. I guess I need to let him rest. He has been taking really good care of me. He took me to walmart for the first time in 5 weeks to go baby clothes shopping. I had a blast spending time with him. I loved it. I can’t wait to do it again. ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyways I’m STARVING and I don’t think I can make it down the stairs to get food. I am wishing he would wake up and feed my butt. ๐Ÿ™‚ LOL!!!! Anyways I’m going to go. BYE


3 responses to “Warnging probably makes no sense

  1. A Dog With Fleas says:

    You are doing the best you can in a tough situation!! Don’t ever doudt yourself or think you are not doing enough. You need to get yourself well and then you will have all the time in the world with your beautiful little baby. So sorry you are going through all of this. None of it is your fault. Take care of yourself and get better!! Hugs!!

  2. kaycee says:

    It is well.

Thanks for taking the time =-)

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